Whoops Blogfest Entry-- Rugskating

http://laurelgarver.blogspot.com/2010/02/whoops-blogfest-coming-222.html

We're supposed to post a clumsy moment from one of our manuscripts. This is from "A Little Crazy Talk" and I don't think it requires much explanation.

Three minutes later, I rushed down the hall and slid on Summer's hall carpet.

Who keeps a circular rug in a hallway with polished wood flooring? Summer was just lucky I discovered this before Ike played human bowling or something.

I felt less lucky as I pulled some crazy figure skating moves (which wouldn't have been possible in a skirt.) I nearly collided with Julio, but he has really good reflexes after four months of me tripping and crashing into him. He moved at the last second, probably after hearing the first pirouette, and grabbed me before I hit the ground. I winced and quickly buried my face in his shirt.

Seeing the wince, he asked in concern, "Are you hurt?"

I could hear Summer and Steve trying desperately not to laugh until they found out I was okay.

I kept my face buried and muttered, "I'm okay. I'm just very, very embarrassed."

Steve and Summer gave up the fight and guffawed.

I didn't think people actually made that noise, but now I do. They guffawed all over… loudly.

Apparently, Steve, who'd had the best view, said that he would have given me a high score for creativity and execution.

Julio showed the most restraint, and just held me long enough for my cheeks to fade to something less violet crayon shaded. I couldn't see his face, but at least he wasn't shaking with silent laughter.

He did say, though, "I had no idea mornings were so exciting for you." He tried to shoo Summer and Steve off, but made the mistake of saying "show's over."

This brought new peals of laughter from them that followed us out the door.

My lucky day... for followers

In reality, a lot of things have gone wrong today--including I gouged the front end of the car on a parking rail. UGH.

On the other hand, I have over a hundred followers. Yay!!! I'm trying to decide what to do to celebrate. Here are some ideas I have... of varying degrees of intelligence.

1. Giving away my hardcover copy of Shiver

2. Giving away an Amazon giftcard

3. Giving away one of my hardcopy beta copies of Honor Among Thieves... possibly signed by Honor... for fun.

4. Something so completely random that I haven't conceived of it yet.

Any opinions, advice, or comments about this... or really any subject?

If you look to the right side of the blog, you'll see a "Company of Him" Series image. I figured even if I don't ever query those... they're fun to yank quotes from. So, I've got excerpts and summaries from each of those ten in their own special little blog.

So, that's what is on my mind today. I've been distracted... and a rash of unlucky issues has me crabby, so this might be the most brilliance my brain spits out today. (I know, pathetic, right?)

Tag--you're it!

I was tagged by Tina, so this is a two post day. I'm supposed to answer these uber personal questions and tag two other people. (What were the odds that I wouldn't tag Diana?) Diana--you're it! Hah! Girl with One Eye--you're also it. Neeners.

1. What's the last thing you wrote? What's the first thing you wrote that you still have?

The last thing I wrote is Honor Six. I won a bunch of contests in creative writing in high school, so they were published in school-wide stuff. That the first "real" writing I did. This question is so vague. When I was young, my favorite first word I learned how to write was "pin." I don't know why, but I just liked the way it looked.

2. Write poetry?

Yes, some. I'm not a poet, though.

3. Angsty poetry?

Nah.

4. Favorite genre of writing?

Paranormal Urban Fantasy--both to read and write.

5. Most annoying character you've ever created?

I once wrote a story about a knight who went up against another and refused to joust because he was an affirmed coward. The council of wizards kept trying to get him to do it, but he just kept refusing before walking off the field. He was boldly cowardly--and there was just something so annoying and charming about him.

6. Best Plot you've ever created?

Umm, I really like the Honor book's plotline, but Scorched is pretty good too. I don't know--this might be a better question for people that have read my books.

7. Coolest Plot twist you've ever created?

I think the plot twist in the first Sarah book is still the best one I've come up with. I had my two protagonists stuck, safely hiding, in their apartment, and it was a challenge to get them out--when it wasn't logical at all. My villain managed a twist so cunning that I still rub my hands together a little when I read it. BAWAHAHA!

8. How often do you get writer's block?

Twice a month at least for twenty-four hours each time when my mind is fuzzy from girly hormones. It's a total black-out, and it terrifies me each time--I feel like I've lost any talent I might have. I've been struggling with writer's frustration with several of my stories, but I think it's because I had too many WIPs.

9. Write fan fiction?

No. I just find it weirder than weird myself.

10. Do you type or write by hand?

LOL. Type. My hands cramp up with even a little bit of writing. I've become a huge sissy. Plus, I'm dependent on spell-check and all the other wonderful things that come with technology.

11. Do you save everything you write?

Sure. Why not. My OCD would freak out if I threw anything out.

12. Do you ever go back to an idea after you've abandoned it?

I never leave a good idea behind.

13. What's your favorite thing you've ever written?

Umm, tough one. I really like "Stories and Magic" because it's first person written from the perspective of an agoraphobic person who never leaves her apartment. It was a challenge, and I liked it.

14. What's everyone else's favorite story that you've written?

No idea. You'd have to ask them.

15. Ever written romance or angsty teen drama?

Abso-freaking-lutely. I love me some angst. Scorched--full of lovely angst. No straight romances, though--not in my opinion.

16. What's your favorite setting for your characters?

I set a bunch of stuff in either Vegas or Seattle. I've spent so much time in both places that I know them well. Scorched is in Vegas. Honor is in Seattle--but she's been all over. This may seem weird, but I keep track of the weather in the locations I use in stories. I don't know why, but it feels like I'm keeping track of my characters' lives that way. I'm fairly certain it's psychotic actually. So, I'm currently watching the weather in Miama, Houston, Seattle, Vegas, and L.A. No, I know. It makes no sense.

17. How many writing projects are you working on right now?

I have three I consider to be WIPs (listed at the bottom), but I have the Company of Him eleven and a book called Tables Turned that are there and waiting should I come up with enthusiasm for them.

18. Have you ever won an award for your writing?

In high school. Actually, like Tina, I just got passed over on a contest. Thanks for making it burn like a paper cut with lemon juice in it.

19. What are your five favorite words?

For right now: "Can I be your agent?" :) I'm so clever.

20. What character have you created that is most like yourself?

This may or may not shock the crap out of people that have read all my books. Johnna--without a doubt. Her voice is the closest to mine and it was easiest to write her dialogue.

21. Where do you get ideas for your characters?

I have no idea. I've heard both Stephanie Meyer and J.K. Rowling say that their characters seem to walk into their minds fully-formed (or something like that.) That's how it is for me. They seem as real to me as other people I meet. Jake seems particularly real for some reason.

22. Do you ever write based on your dreams?

Yep. My dystopian is based on a dream.

23. Do you favor happy endings?

I favor good endings that are happy. I don't like things tied up--nice and tidy. I like real endings where things are good and right. I don't like sad endings--at all. NO WAY. If something has a sad ending, I won't watch it or read it. It's my policy. Sometimes, I read the end of literary novels just to check. (That seems to be a common trend among literary novels.)

24. Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?

Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm obsessed with it. I double-check and triple-check. It's why my sister gets so excited about "Beta Easter Eggs" when she finds my typos.

25. Does music help you write?

Sometimes. Sometimes I need total and complete silence--which is why I write at night so much. Right now, our saltwater fish tank is way too loud for my comfort level, so I'm going to have to move to another room. (I have strong auditory aversions.)

26. Quote something you've written. Whatever pops into your head.

"I think I might be able to drive with you on my lap." Reeve--Honor Within It makes me laugh every time I read it.

Day Twenty-seven- This hairshirt I wear....

So, in addition to watching Star Trek last night at the husband's insistence, I did the revise on Scorched--the first of many revisions, of course. This was my last revise before it went to both my sisters. Typically, after they get back to me, I fix typos and print three copies on Lulu to give to my beta readers. Then, they circulate for several weeks and make their way back to me with pencil marks, folded over pages, and sticky covers. Usually, they go through about eight readers--the exception being the Honor books which have each been read by probably two dozen readers. I need to put my "Company of Him" books through the process again, so I can start printing those out to hand around.

The strange thing is--you'd think it'd get easier, and maybe it has. Still, there is always that moment when I'm sending someone a manuscript or giving someone a book where it feels like I'm giving them something so personal that I feel like it's peeking into my brain. It feels like I'm giving away my secrets one at a time.

I don't think non-writers get it.

Even as fast as I write--I've still spent hour upon hour thinking about my characters--wondering what they'd do. I still research everything to death. While I'm driving, I'm thinking "you know, it would be amazing if...." While I'm trying to sleep, I'm thinking of conversation between characters. Then, there is that first moment--when it begins--and something wanders into your mind asking "what if?" At the end, when it's over, there is that elation of it's done--they're done with their trip in my head. You know how it ends--you can return to life. You can breathe again. Each little character walks out of your head with some bit of them that is personal to you. Maybe you see a little of yourself in their self-conscious thoughts. Maybe you spent a long time agonizing over what they'd do in a situation. Maybe you secretly hated them--or loved them.

There is a deep intimacy between a writer and what they write.

Each time I hand off something, I worry that it's too obvious how I feel about something. There is that self-conscious instant like stepping out of a dressing room in an outfit that you grabbed on a whim as you walked by. (Only--it wasn't a whim--and you'd been staring at it the whole time. Still, if you act like it doesn't matter--if you pretend that you won't be hurt no matter what--you can be brave enough to step out of the curtain and hope that if they hate it--they won't realize how much it meant to you.)

You'd think it would feel a little less intimate after so many books, but it still feels like I'm standing there in a shirt that looks like Van Gogh hurled on it and bright orange jeans and thinking "this is sort of the real me" while saying "I just grabbed this on my way into the dressing room. It's crazy, right? It makes my hips look huge. The shirt is a little out there."

For the most part, I don't expect brutal honesty. Seriously, does anyone want brutal honesty even if they act like they do? Even if someone says, I want to improve this--tell me what you really think. The translation is: I've worked on this. I've invested in this. It must be good in some way. Help me find a way to make it work. No one wants to hear: "Put that in a drawer somewhere. No, better yet, douse it in gasoline and burn it."

It's harder to send it out to agents and publishers, of course. It stings a little more when they look at your Van Gogh shirt and say, "Whoa! I can't believe that even made it onto the racks. Who'd ever wear that? No one is going to buy that. I'd never wear that."

It doesn't matter, though, right? It can't matter.

It's business--just business.

I hate that. I hate that we're told to think of something we've written like that. If it was just business, your writing would be crap. If you didn't put yourself in it, then there would be no point to showing it to anyone.

I don't care if it's tacky to say this, but it's never business with me. Never. Not in my blog posts. Not in my flash fiction. Not in my manuscripts. It just isn't. It's a bit of me, standing outside the curtain--fully intending to buy the shirt and the jeans--even if I just hide them away in my closet, proud that I had the guts to step outside the curtain.

Day Twenty-six--When you give thanks and have pie.

This morning, I woke up feeling like a new person. (LIKE a new person--not feeling a new person---just in case anyone read that and wondered if I was tramping out on my husband.)

The NaNo novel is done, and I'M excited to do rewrites. Yay!!! There will be some hacking and slashing. There will be a bit of adding and embellishing... but most of all, today, there will be pie. The sister aka Heidi has promised me glorious banana cream pie. Yummmmm.

Today, I'm thankful for the husband's job and my two wonderful kids who can also be slightly annoying. I'm thankful for the husband and all he does to help our little family stay afloat. We'll have been married twelve years next month and I'm thankful for the good and bad years and that we've grown together. I can't even begin to tell you all the wonderful little things he does every day just because he is the person that he is.

I'm thankful for one car that magically decided to turn off its "check engine" light after three years. I'm not sure why it was on. I'm not sure why it's off--I just know when to be thankful for the little things.

I'm thankful for a wonderful friend in real life who makes me laugh about crappy things. I'm thankful for cyber friends who are so genuine. I'm thankful for my family and how close we all are.

I'm thankful for a belief in God and religion and the knowledge that belief doesn't make me a sheep--but a person that has made a choice to believe in something greater than human frailty and a finite existence and I'm right--and I know I'm right. Truth is stronger than fiction--even if it sometimes also seems stranger than fiction. I know that I'm raising my children in a way that I can respect and accept. I'm grateful to live in a place with the freedom to make these choices, and I'm grateful that my parents raised me to respect the choices of others.

Even with all the stress that comes with it, I'm thankful for the rush and thrill I get from being a writer. I like the feeling I get when I reread something I've written and it feels alive and real and I think, "I did that. I brought that to life. I made that." I like telling the stories in my head and having the characters get their time in the light. I'm grateful for the weird quirky characters that make me smile like Honor... and Reeve, and the Master, and Beth/Juliet, and Devi, and Jake... and Asher... and Scorch. I'm honestly grateful that my memory is so wickedly horrible that I laugh at jokes every single time. I woke up this morning with a few thoughts on things to add to Scorched in the final two chapters--and I'm grateful for that too. These stories feel like living, breathing things to me and it feels nice to be a part of that.

I'm grateful for the moral upbringing I had which has instilled in me the desire to write stories that I can share with my kids someday. I'm grateful that there are other people out there still willing to write stories that I don't feel ashamed to read and recommend and quote from and talk about.

A special thank you to Shelley for writing a children's book that made me smile and call my mom right away.

Another thank you to Diana for writing Sinister which started my day out right today.

I'm grateful... very grateful to be alive today and surrounded by people that I love and who love me. I'm grateful for a laptop to take with me today so I can be surrounded by the characters I've created and sneak in a little editing. (Shhhhh... Everyone will fall asleep after turkey anyway.)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Bean spilling and the unpublished

Okay, so my series of books called "the Company of Him" is going through the editing process. The books are all connected by this company they work for which is completely eccentric. I started writing the books for fun... and then as a challenge. I tried to give the main character flaws that would make them utterly human and interesting... or would make writing a first person narrative difficult.

For example, the book I just finished editing, Parallel Lives, is written with alternating male and female narrators. The female suffers from PTSD and the male (who works for the company) is the child of a famous con man. Late one night, the female sees someone in the building across the way murdered and her scream brings the male running from a different office. When he flips on the light, she decides the only way to save their tails is to enact a torrid love scene thus implying that was their reason for being in the building. It goes on from there as they're trying to figure out what happened across the way. I've just started editing the following one in the series which is about a children's book illustrator who has severe agoraphobia and can't leave her house and will only let a few people in... written entirely from her perspective. (It was a challenge to myself--narrating an entire story from one apartment.)

They all have weird little quirks that made them interesting and likable to me, but... will they ever be published? Possibly not. On the other hand... I love these characters. I love the stories. It seems sad to just leave them molding on my hard-drive. The plots of each of the stories are awesome too, but it feels weird to just yammer on and on about a book that you're writing if you're never intending to put it online. I don't want to share too much, but....

What do you do about an unpublished novel's plot and such if you're hoping to someday be published? Is it a bad thing to post plot lines or summaries or teasers? Would you ever consider putting a portion or all of a book online? What do you see as the "limits" of revealing yourself as a writer online?

In the end, I'm a storyteller, and I really, really like to tell stories. It feels strange and disatisfying to not post what I write online. It's been nice to print out review copies on Lulu to pass around to friends for proof-reading. That's helped with this weird feeling of being selfish and gollum-like. ( My precious story.... They wants it, but we keeps it for ourselves. Yes, my precious, we likes to type it and sit on it.)

Anyway, the thought of posting something online is scary, because you can never take it back, but... stories are meant to be shared.

Ugh. Is there some sort of industry opinion somewhere on what an unpublished writer should share regarding WIPs?

I'm so tired today. The plan was cleaning and laundry and six miles of my feet on the pavement. I just haven't slept enough, though. I'm so tired.