Whipped and WIP Wednesday

So, the husband is on his way to New York after a few days in New Orleans. The kids have been... interesting to deal with. Okay, by interesting... I mean exhausting. I'm so tired. I got nailed with a migraine that I've just now tamed... probably temporarily. On the other hand, if I can survive, my Disneyland trip is this weekend.

As far as writing goes, I've been working on a new WIP and trying to decide whether to continue to devote time to querying Scorched or what? I keep thinking maybe I should take a break and work on the new WIP while I'm under stress with the kids, but I have fulls and partials out. It feels weird not to keep replacing any queries that come back just so I have a certain number out. I don't know.

So, anyway, my new WIP is freaking awesome on a stick. The premise is fantastic... we'll see how the execution goes. Thus far, it's going much slower, but I'm writing in third deep and I think that's not so odd for it to go slow in third deep. I'm a week and a half into the project and just crossed 10K. I'm getting the feeling this will finish out at 50-60K. It's a YA Literary Fiction with Magical Realism. Just in case I stick up a ticker on it, the name is "My Other Life" at this point.

Well, that's about it. This is rambling, but my life is rambling, so it was bound to be.

Friday--I'm in love

This has been an intense week. T is really struggling with his sensory issues. I've been spending an hour a day in the therapy room with him and two hours on Wednesday. I've been trying to adjust my OCD meds with some success and some failure. Also, I sent out a bunch of queries this week and I've now sent in five submission requests. (Two on Honor, three on Scorched) I'm really excited, but trying to remain pessimistic enough so I can deal with whatever comes with some degree of dignity.

T's therapy has made this week intense. B has been having a bit of a "week" also. She's been very emotional.

I'm so glad my husband is so wonderful and supportive. He's been so good about letting me do this writing thing... and hasn't complained that the house is in chaos... and things don't always get done.

I did get two feet of hair cut and donated to Locks for Love. (It was down past my waist, but not as healthy as I would like it.) The kids haven't noticed yet. Actually, few people I've seen since my hair cut have noticed. I assume that's because of my "stealth" mode of living. I'm like James Bond... really.

That's my week. Some good. Some bad. Some hair loss. Same old... same old...

Have a great weekend everyone!

Yay... not bad for a Monday

I sent out a few queries on Scorched yesterday, and already had a request for a full today. I'm excited. So, today, I wrote a synopsis and sent out a few more queries, but I spent so much time on each one that I'm tired now and my brain is hurting. Anyway... yay... I'm back into querying. I've had a few rejection-free holidays so I think I've broken the holiday rejection curse.

Everyone is really backed-up, though, so I might not hear on the manuscripts or queries for a while.

Keep your fingers crossed. :)

Running through....

I've got stuff to do today, so I'm just really streaking through here today. (It's true. Underneath all my clothes I'm naked.)

Through a strange twist that I just realized.... my 100th followers contest announcement... was my 200th post. Go figure.

My good friend, Amber, is having a birthday today... and is in crisis mode. (It's silly because she looks like an infant, of course... well... slightly older than an infant, but anyway.) Happy Birthday, Amber!

I'm still working on adjust my OCD meds so my sleep cycle is completely insane right now. My body wakes up after four hours of sleep no matter what I do. I have no idea why. So, my brain feels a bit... slow to the starting line.

My good friend scheduled our all girl Disneyland trip for the end of April yesterday. It's official. My "Save My Sanity" weekend away from the kids is almost here. My sister, Heidi, is coming with us this year. It'll be awesome.

T is not doing well... in fact, I haven't seen him this bad for a while. He's very, very manic. He got his hair cut a week and a half ago, and that might be the problem. Well, not just the haircut. It's being out of therapy, getting a haircut, losing some of his teeth, and school. He's started having accidents again and has been getting violent and manic. It's really not good. He's officially outside our insurance's acceptable age for neuro-developmental therapy now also. So, if we don't get it under control and handled... we'll be paying $120 per 50 minute session until we can. I don't think we'll need to do that, but it's been a while since I've seen his sensory system this disorganized. He's also taken to wandering around muttering to himself all the time. I gave him caffeine gum before school to soothe him when he tried to take a swipe at me while shouting. Oy.

Tomorrow, B has her big school project due, and the husband is coming home early to help her prepare. She is doing a presentation (probably Power Point) on computers.

The husband is very stressed out. He was "on call" all last week and, then, some of the servers he's responsible for having been acting up. (I think it's something to do with that anyway. My memory is very, very, very short due to the meds right now. I keep having to look to see what day it is. Yesterday is completely gone in my memory.) Also, the husband's commute was extra-long due to delays at every section... including someone leaving their car on the ferry by accident. (Some people alternate between walking on and taking a car and forget and leave their car.) So, the ferry got held up at one spot while they made sure the car didn't belong to someone who'd committed suicide by jumping overboard. (It's so strange and sad... and the ferry would have to turn around and comb the waters if they hadn't reached the person. It was just a forgetful commuter, though.) So, the poor husband didn't get home until 7:30 last night. (It was nearly a three hour commute, I believe.)

Okay, so that's what is going on right now. I heard back from that one hour query thing. I'd submitted Re:Straint. Her primary recommendation is that I don't mention the Mom's POV. It was a pass also, but I was really looking more for help with my query anyway.

So, I have a full out on Scorched, and a partial out on Honor... and no queries out really. (There are a few I'm calling "no response" on.) So, I really need to get some focus and concentrate on something. I should have queries out, but... I'm feeling a bit "meh" about it.

Some other day, maybe.

Have a good.... uhh... Tuesday... or whatever day it is for you.

It's the end of the sanity as we know it... and I feel fine.

So, as a... literary experiment... I put Honor on Twitter yesterday. Psychotic? Possibly. Reason? Mostly because it just seemed fun, but also... for more exposure for her. I have a question, though. I know there are seven of my followers who will "get" what Honor is talking about, but I'm not sure about the rest of you. I'm wondering if I should post some sort of explanation on the world of Honor... or what... What do you think?

Also... is this idea just so lame... or crazy that I ought to up my dosage of medication?

I'm still waffling on the whole Honor to DAW thing, but I think I'm going to send it. Maybe. Possibly.

Re:Straint is out in that submission contest with Knight Agency. Scorched is out in Full from that pitch contest. Two agents have queries on Honor (but I'm considering calling them six weeks silence same as no.)

That's my life in a nutshell. (Help! I'm in a nutshell. How did I get in this gigantic nutshell?) Yeah... I didn't sleep well last night. :)

Pitch... it's the new naughty word

Above is the cover I used for my hardcopy beta readers before I changed the name a little.

Okay, so I need to work on my pitch for Re:Straint today. I'm wondering if I should focus on Scorched and Re:Straint as far as querying and so on goes. Honor kicks tail, don't get me wrong, but it might be difficult to convey how Honor isn't your typical vampire book and is genuinely funny.

Oh... I should post a link to that Submissions Festival I keep bringing up:

http://nephele.livejournal.com/117703.html

So, I need to write that pitch for Re:Straint. I still have my full on Scorched in with CJLA. I have a couple Honor queries out, but I'm sure I'll get my rejections of those on either Valentine's Day or President's Day... or both. ;) If I do... it's seriously okay. Honor is really hard to query because of the over-saturation of vamp Lit. out there. Rejections on Honor have been much easier to take because I just know you can't get across Honor's voice in a small excerpt and a query letter. I've barely touched queries on these other two because I've been distracted with writing actually. So, I think Re:Straint has been queried once which went right to partial... and Scorched... maybe two or three times. Maybe. So, this will be new and fun to query on Re: Straint.

On the pitch, I'm going to use a tighter cut of the blurb below, but it needs to be one paragraph. So, that might be interesting. I've also had a really nice slushpile reader offer to critique my query on Re: Straint, so I'll work on getting that to her today.

I guess that's it. Hmm. I'm going to go visit blogs this morning and try to be a good blog friend instead of the twitterhead I've been lately.

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

The Predicament

I'm not a patient person. I'm not saying that I get frustrated. I just obsess and it gnaws at my brain. So, Scorched is now in with Caren. Her site says to expect a 4-8 week response time. (Does that sound like less or more time when you say one to two months?)

I've decided not to do ABNA with Scorched. I suppose I could still polish up Re: Straint and use that for ABNA. I also need to work on Honor, though.

Huh... that's an interesting thought. Re: Straint for ABNA.

Bah. The thought of staring at another manuscript for fifteen hours makes my eyes bleed. I should really tackle my house today. It's scary.

I'm also rethinking the possibility of Honor at DAW. At the very least, I really need to rethink my approach at that query letter and take a second look at the first bit for the millionth time.

As if this wasn't enough balls in the air... I also had insomnia really wicked last night. It took me several tries at one hour lengths to get to sleep at around four a.m. My dystopian wants to be finished. It really, really, really wants to be finished. The words are streaming into my head faster than I can write them down which means I'm staring at the ceiling with dialogue etching its way onto my brain. So, not writing them down might mean sacrificing sleep or having to take full-on sleeping pills to override them.

You know... I went into full-on writer mode a little over a year ago in October of 2008. It feels like it's been one obsessive moment to the next.

There are some moments that I couldn't and wouldn't live without of this whole thing. I love telling stories. I love when my characters whisper into my heads and tell me what they're really thinking and saying. Sometimes they surprise the heck out of me. Last night, Tyler from Versus the Bounty came up with a seriously ingenious way of getting across a monitored area without their body temperatures setting off sensors. It was seriously brilliant. One day last week, I had another character call out an insult at Tyler using a slang word that I'd never heard that I can remember, but turned out to be an actual insult meaning "freak." I love that part of writing. I love the whisper of voices and thoughts and plots.

I hate the way it gnaws on my life, though. I feel like sitting down to type is feeding an unhealthy addiction at times. I've considered increasing the dosage of my OCD meds to see if it will dampen the obsession enough that I don't lose sleep over it. On the other hand, what if I get stuck in a plot, unable to finish writing? What if I can never recapture whatever it is that helps me write? What if that keeps me from sleeping even more than it does now? That terrifies me. I'm afraid to bump the status quo.

I also don't like opening myself to critique and ridicule. My stories feel so personal. I've been bullied in my life and this feels a little like that at times. It's exposing a weakness. This is the way I think... I believe... I dream.... Okay, now tell me what's wrong with it.

Wow. This post is very, very random.

I think until I get a response from Caren I'll consider that an exclusive for right now. So, I'll take Scorched off the querying table.

That leaves Re: Straint, Honor, and my current WIP Versus the Bounty to think on.

Should I quickly run over Re: Straint and get it ready for ABNA?

I should get some laundry started and mull these things over.

The work-life-writing condundrum

This is a particular problem for those of us whose life=writing, "work" =writing, writing=writing. Le sigh. I'm struggling to find balance in my life right now--especially with things I hate. *cough* cleaning and laundry *cough* Ugh. I can't seem to convince myself of the importance of things that I don't like as much as writing. *cough* cleaning and laundry *cough* I know that wanting to be a published writer to earn money isn't supposed to be something we admit to... but wanting to be published writer so that I can pay people to do something that I should be doing instead of writing--sound so good. Le sigh.

Well, this weekend should be busy. I need to get edited versions of my Honor books into Lulu because they're having a sale and my Mother-in-law wants copies of the books. This means I'm editing Guest of Honor--and--wow--it really, really, really needed it.

I've got stuff going on with both Scorched and Honor Among Thieves. If you click on the books to the side--I've set up sites to keep track of those things since those are the books I'm concentrating on right now. I don't expect you to follow them or comment by any means, but if you're curious... you're welcome to. I didn't want my random babbling about them to smother this journal.

Anyway, I should get to work on some of this stuff. Have a good Saturday, everyone!

WIP Wednesday-Scorched Revise

So, it's more of a revision-in-progress kind of thing. I'm thinking of using Scorched for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award (hereafter called ABNA) in February. That means I need to do some solid revisions. I've got a few really odd questions.

Okay, so it's a first person narrative aimed at an older YA crowd. Poor Sidra, the MC, has a father that is a jerk and has run off with a girl just six years older than his teenage daughter. Sidra is seventeen and pissed off because of it, and she calls this other woman her dad's "superwhore." I've got mixed responses on this. I've had several people say that the word "slut" is a lot less offensive. Hang on. I'll post a quick quote. Oh... also, Sidra goes by "Scorch" and is being bullied by the superwhore's brother. So, opinions on the whole whore vs. slut thing would be appreciated if you feel like giving your opinion on something that's possibly offensive and also very weird. If you're offended by either or both, I apologize, but there is a certain level of anger that would go along with being dumped during your father's mid-life crisis. I know someone who went through this. So, here is an excerpt. Opinions welcome.

“Scorch’s dad is married to Lyle’s sister,” Penny said.

Thanks Penny. Let’s just get it all out into the open.

“He hates her because of that—because they’re related?” Asher asked.

“My father had an affair with Lyle’s sister, who is about twenty years younger than him. He divorced us, married her, and now they live in Mississippi. I think he told my mom that Bliss is knocked up, but she is trying to keep it from me. Yay. The sibling I always wanted will come from the superwhore.” Perhaps I’d been too vehement because my statement caused complete silence. I flung myself on my back to stare at the blue, blue sky. It was easier than seeing pity or whatever on Asher’s face. Okay, so maybe I’d one-upped Penny on spilling my life story. I had no idea where that had all come from.

“Bliss is pregnant?” Penny repeated.

“Yep. I think so. My mom was just about to go through in-vitro when she found out about the affair. It’s not a good subject to bring up and confirm. I’m still trying to never talk with my father, so I don’t know for sure, but that’s what it sounds like.”

“Your father is such a….” Penny couldn’t find the right word. I couldn’t find the right word. I sympathized with her plight.

“Yep,” I agreed. “I’m supposed to spend Christmas with him as part of the divorce settlement. It’s fine, though, because I won’t have to travel as Bliss wants to spend time here in Vegas with her family, so I can spend time with Lyle during winter break. I’m hoping to have my father committed to an asylum before it comes to that.”

“Wow,” Penny said.

“Totally,” I agreed.

“That’s really messed up,” Asher said, in complete agreement.

Fantasy and Reality collide and explode--shrapnel everywhere! Ahhh!

I know what you're asking. What would be the shrapnel of a fantasy and reality collision?

Unicorns. Seriously, they're almost horse, but... not. Once again, unicorns are the answer.

So, in my fantasy "I'm a writer" life, I sent off a query today. (I know, shocked the crap out of me too.) I finished Diana's line edits on Honor Among Thieves last night--really this morning. Well, okay, I haven't finished the page sixty exposition that she wants pared down to help with flow. I'll do that this morning now that I have a fresh idea of what can be cut because it's explained later. That's the goal for this morning.

I also got an answer to my DAW question in a chat room last night, so I'm feeling ahead of the game this morning.

In my reality, I need to tackle laundry, dishes, and post-holiday recovery. I also really, really need to clean the kids' therapy room while they're at school. T has three loose teeth. How does that relate? We can't even cut his hair without him getting spun out of control from sensory input. Having three loose teeth is making him manic--seriously. It's terrifying. With how much it is raining outside today, he won't get enough of that energy burnt off at school. Their therapy room has swings and hammocks and a ball pit and so on. (Yes, we have a play gym inside--with two kids on the Spectrum--it became vital.)

Oh, this week I also need to get busy figuring out what I'm submitting to Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest. I'm thinking Scorched so I won't have to deal with the "literary novel expectation" that I think might be present in the adult category. I'd rather try to dig my way into the Young Adult category. So, if that's the plan, I need to do a rewrite on Scorched ASAP.

Okay, so that is today. It's a Monday so, per usual, I can anticipate the day falling to pieces and very little getting accomplished, but it's still good to start with a plan of blind faith and determination.

Oh--on the DAW thing, you know how I seem to specialize in holiday rejections? I'm thinking if I submitted on Groundhog's Day--there would be no way they could reject me on Valentine's Day. See! Clever, huh? I know. I'm full of clever ideas. They got back to me really fast last time for it making it to the second reader. I've seen a lot of writers wait for months to hear back from them at all. I think I got a month and a half turn around. For a full hardcopy slushpile entry, that seems fairly good. I mean, for a writer, that's sheer torture, but a lot of agents take longer than that on a query.

Okay, this morning there should be Frosting. I didn't get much sleep. The end of Honor Among Thieves still rocks my world. There were still a few places that made me cry. (It's nice to have such a poor memory. It gives you weird split personality moments to enjoy.) I still laughed in a bunch of places. Reeve is still hot. It was fun. Of course, then I wanted to move on to "editing" book two. Doh.

Okay, good morning, world. Happy Monday to all.

Scary Decisions and Diving in

And you thought you'd never get a picture of me. There it is. Okay, it's a painting, and it's from a while ago, but it's me. It's done from a picture the husband took about ten years ago of me sitting in a lighthouse window. It was my second painting--ever. It's even on canvas board instead of actual canvas. Still, it's hanging in my house right now.

I was going to post a different painting, but this one scrolled to the top first and fit better anyway.

So, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm a shiny thing kind of writer. I get easily distracted by new and shiny ideas. I run at them all smiles and hugs and love. That's not to say that I forget my old loves. I'm in constant rewrite mode. Whenever I get stuck on something new, I go back to an old manuscript and rewrite it. I just went through most of the Honor series looking for plot inconsistencies.

(BTW, if you're going to write a series of books without a real plan, writing the entire series before getting published is the way to go in my opinion. Then, you can go back to the first and second and third and fix things that don't work later on. I've got to go through and change the ages of a few vampires in rewrites fairly soon.)

So, the point--I'm sort of a shiny thing kind of blogger too, after all, and I'm easily side-tracked, but I do have a point, or a quandary really.

I'm trying to decide whether to go back to DAW and try updated Honor Among Thieves, or to continue plugging away at finding an agent. Honor hasn't met many agents actually.

Then, I have both Scorched and Re: Straint that I'm wondering if I should work on those for submission into the Amazon Breakthrough Novel contest.

I just don't know where my strengths are--and as fun as getting rejected is... I'd rather send in the right thing and work on the right manuscript.

Then, there is this other thing--which I thought of in the middle of the night--when I had insomnia last night, and I should have just gotten up written instead.

I'm thinking of making "Sheri's Tales" free for download on Lulu. Honestly, while I'd like to write for a living and earn money at it, I write because the stories are there in my head and I won't be able to sleep if they don't get out. This whole process starts eating at your soul eventually if you're not thick-skinned. (I've been trying to wear around this new thick skin, but it's heavy and I swear it makes my butt look big.) Anyway, this "book" is a stand-alone completely. It needs a rewrite or two first, but that way... anyone curious... and my friends could read it and see what my writing style is like. I'd thought of doing the same thing on the web, somehow, but it's just an easier format to go through Lulu.

Anyway, that's my stream of consciousness mind dump for today. I need to find a thing to concentrate on and quit getting completely distracted by new, shiny manuscripts.

1. Honor among Thieves--do a final rewrite, print out, and resend to DAW or not? Send to a few agents--or not?

2. Scorched and Re: Straint--do rewrites and work on preparing for submission to Amazon's thing--or not? Submit to agents who prefer YA--or not?

3. Sheri's Tales--consider all the ramifications of making a single manuscript available free for download to the public.

I'm a little stressed out by my real life today, actually, too. That was the secondary reason for my insomnia. Poor little B is getting bullied. She's in third grade and one of the other girls has targeted her for torment. I've been warning the school for years that this is a concern. Autistic girls are easy targets and B behaves "differently" enough AND doesn't recognize bullying or meanness. She also doesn't relay things unless you ask about them. Knowing which questions to ask--is a complicated thing. This other girl, Laurel, has been punching B in the stomach, stealing her stuff and refusing to return them without a monetary payment, and yesterday she poked her in the eye with a rock. I think she also tried to frame B for a money theft and then later stole B's allowance. Yeah. This all came out last night. The husband and I have talked about taking B out of school for Junior High and home-schooling her because girls are mean to one another, but it turns out that girls are mean a lot sooner than you'd ever guess. I need to call the school and deal with this. Since B has SN and a diagnosis, I have the clout to insist that something be done immediately. Crap... I want this Laurel chick in a different class ASAP.

My best friend's little boy is in the same class as B, and I'll ask him to look out for B again. (He did this in Kindergarten.) Even if he's a turkey at times--he is also fiercely protective.

Dang it. The world is cruel.

Anyway, my stomach still feels skittery today. I'm hoping that boring oatmeal will help.

Okay, wish me luck, I'm off to call the school.

Judging Books by their Covers

Okay, so I have a bone to pick with the publishing world. This book I read last night, "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society," has the lamest back blurb I've ever seen. It has two sentences and then the rest is filled with critic reviews. That was part of the reason I stopped reading it. I had no idea what it was about, whether it was something I'd like, and where it was going. I actually had no idea that Dawsey was a man--so it really confused me when she addressed him as Mr. Dawsey or something like that. It's fairly pathetic when you think the MC's love interest is female for the first bunch of pages.

Let me just say this: I don't care enough about reviews that they can substitute for a summary. I don't know the people at "Newsday" or "The Guardian." Why should I care what they think? I don't. That was the problem. I felt a great "so what" after reading their reviews--especially since their reviews were all gushy and said nothing about the plot either.

So, here is the back blurb in its entirity:

"January 1946: Writer Juliet Ashton receives a letter from a stranger, a founding member of the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. And so begins a remarkable tale of the island of Guernsey during the German occupation, and of a society as extraordinary as its name."

Yeah. That's it. Lame, huh?

Here is my back blurb for it:

The war has left its mark on Europe and upon the souls of those who live there. Writer and socialite Juliet Ashton is searching for something more meaningful to write about than the cheery "Izzy Bickerstaff Goes to War." A copy of a Charles Lamb book she once owned inspires a man, a pig farmer, on the island of Guernsey to write to her. Dawsey Adams is one of the founding members of the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. Drawn in by his stories and the society's unusual name, Juliet begs for letters from those in Guernsey who'd been completely shut off from the world during the German occupation.

As letters pour in from Guernsey, Juliet finds her passion for living and writing again in their stories. Despite a marriage proposal from a wealthy American, she goes to Guernsey to meet those she's corresponded with. Along with the horror of what they suffered she finds they share a simple joy for life and a love for her. As she falls in love with an orphaned child and the pig farmer who'd originally written to her, she can't help but wonder if perhaps this was what she's been searching for her whole life.

Anyway, that would have interested me a lot more than their lame blurb.

Speaking of books and covers, I made the cover for several books of mine for Lulu yesterday. (Yes, you can use their generic covers, but it's just not in me to do it.) These are just hardcopies for betas, so they won't ever see the light of the publishing world. It seems a little strange to spend so much time on them, but I don't care. I like how Scorched turned out--for being a free image that was blown up and manipulated by various programs. Honor Within is a "Paint" image. I miss Photoshop, but it would really bog down my laptop anyway.

Here are the covers for Scorched and Honor Within:

Brain sluggish--not even good enough for a zombie snack

Any zombies reading this--move along--this isn't the brain you're looking for.

So, about ten minutes after I posted yesterday, I got a rejection letter for one of the two queries I have out right now. (I'm waiting until January for Honor Among Thieves.) I've tried to convince myself that this agent was just watching my blog and trying to sneak in a rejection while I was in a good mood--and not that fate is out to kill my Christmas spirit. (Speaking of fate, I had the most amazing idea for a story come to me in a dream. I've got too much to do this week, so I'm trying to ignore it--though I did write it down. Thus far, it's plaguing me still. It took me over an hour to get to sleep because of it.)

So, both Honor Within and Scorched made it to Lulu to be printed. Woo woo! That was today's project. I'm tuckered. Yesterday, I worked on photo books for grandparents and photos for Christmas cards. My lap top is a little hot from all this stuff.

Today, the car officially kicked the husband's tail. His motorcycle had already done that too. He wrecked and slid on ice this morning. (Yeah. Good times.) We drove the car to a local mechanic to see if they can drill out the drill bit--which is stuck inside the bolt--which is in the side of the engine block--which wasn't broken a week ago. (I don't know why she swallowed the fly--perhaps she'll die.) By drive, I mean I tugged it behind my SUV while the husband made sure it didn't crunch into the back of the car. I firmly believe such situations take years off your life. I think I just lost one year of my life. It was probably going to suck anyway, though. Let's face it--once you get beyond a hundred--the years aren't as kind.

So, tonight, I have a book club book to read. I've been putting it off. The Guernsey Potato Peel Pie Society or something like that--was never on my "books to read" list, but I picked it up--read for a bit--got bored--put it down. It's time to bite the bullet. My friend says that if I stick it out for forty pages, it gets better. She likes my books--so she must have good taste. :) I might resort to skim-reading if it doesn't really pick up by then. I read really fast, but so far--this isn't a page turner for me. Anyway, that's my goal for tonight. I couldn't make it through Pride and Prejudice either--and I've heard people compare this to that. That's bad news. It's rare for me to put down a book.

Okay, see you folks tomorrow.

Tag--you're it!

I was tagged by Tina, so this is a two post day. I'm supposed to answer these uber personal questions and tag two other people. (What were the odds that I wouldn't tag Diana?) Diana--you're it! Hah! Girl with One Eye--you're also it. Neeners.

1. What's the last thing you wrote? What's the first thing you wrote that you still have?

The last thing I wrote is Honor Six. I won a bunch of contests in creative writing in high school, so they were published in school-wide stuff. That the first "real" writing I did. This question is so vague. When I was young, my favorite first word I learned how to write was "pin." I don't know why, but I just liked the way it looked.

2. Write poetry?

Yes, some. I'm not a poet, though.

3. Angsty poetry?

Nah.

4. Favorite genre of writing?

Paranormal Urban Fantasy--both to read and write.

5. Most annoying character you've ever created?

I once wrote a story about a knight who went up against another and refused to joust because he was an affirmed coward. The council of wizards kept trying to get him to do it, but he just kept refusing before walking off the field. He was boldly cowardly--and there was just something so annoying and charming about him.

6. Best Plot you've ever created?

Umm, I really like the Honor book's plotline, but Scorched is pretty good too. I don't know--this might be a better question for people that have read my books.

7. Coolest Plot twist you've ever created?

I think the plot twist in the first Sarah book is still the best one I've come up with. I had my two protagonists stuck, safely hiding, in their apartment, and it was a challenge to get them out--when it wasn't logical at all. My villain managed a twist so cunning that I still rub my hands together a little when I read it. BAWAHAHA!

8. How often do you get writer's block?

Twice a month at least for twenty-four hours each time when my mind is fuzzy from girly hormones. It's a total black-out, and it terrifies me each time--I feel like I've lost any talent I might have. I've been struggling with writer's frustration with several of my stories, but I think it's because I had too many WIPs.

9. Write fan fiction?

No. I just find it weirder than weird myself.

10. Do you type or write by hand?

LOL. Type. My hands cramp up with even a little bit of writing. I've become a huge sissy. Plus, I'm dependent on spell-check and all the other wonderful things that come with technology.

11. Do you save everything you write?

Sure. Why not. My OCD would freak out if I threw anything out.

12. Do you ever go back to an idea after you've abandoned it?

I never leave a good idea behind.

13. What's your favorite thing you've ever written?

Umm, tough one. I really like "Stories and Magic" because it's first person written from the perspective of an agoraphobic person who never leaves her apartment. It was a challenge, and I liked it.

14. What's everyone else's favorite story that you've written?

No idea. You'd have to ask them.

15. Ever written romance or angsty teen drama?

Abso-freaking-lutely. I love me some angst. Scorched--full of lovely angst. No straight romances, though--not in my opinion.

16. What's your favorite setting for your characters?

I set a bunch of stuff in either Vegas or Seattle. I've spent so much time in both places that I know them well. Scorched is in Vegas. Honor is in Seattle--but she's been all over. This may seem weird, but I keep track of the weather in the locations I use in stories. I don't know why, but it feels like I'm keeping track of my characters' lives that way. I'm fairly certain it's psychotic actually. So, I'm currently watching the weather in Miama, Houston, Seattle, Vegas, and L.A. No, I know. It makes no sense.

17. How many writing projects are you working on right now?

I have three I consider to be WIPs (listed at the bottom), but I have the Company of Him eleven and a book called Tables Turned that are there and waiting should I come up with enthusiasm for them.

18. Have you ever won an award for your writing?

In high school. Actually, like Tina, I just got passed over on a contest. Thanks for making it burn like a paper cut with lemon juice in it.

19. What are your five favorite words?

For right now: "Can I be your agent?" :) I'm so clever.

20. What character have you created that is most like yourself?

This may or may not shock the crap out of people that have read all my books. Johnna--without a doubt. Her voice is the closest to mine and it was easiest to write her dialogue.

21. Where do you get ideas for your characters?

I have no idea. I've heard both Stephanie Meyer and J.K. Rowling say that their characters seem to walk into their minds fully-formed (or something like that.) That's how it is for me. They seem as real to me as other people I meet. Jake seems particularly real for some reason.

22. Do you ever write based on your dreams?

Yep. My dystopian is based on a dream.

23. Do you favor happy endings?

I favor good endings that are happy. I don't like things tied up--nice and tidy. I like real endings where things are good and right. I don't like sad endings--at all. NO WAY. If something has a sad ending, I won't watch it or read it. It's my policy. Sometimes, I read the end of literary novels just to check. (That seems to be a common trend among literary novels.)

24. Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?

Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm obsessed with it. I double-check and triple-check. It's why my sister gets so excited about "Beta Easter Eggs" when she finds my typos.

25. Does music help you write?

Sometimes. Sometimes I need total and complete silence--which is why I write at night so much. Right now, our saltwater fish tank is way too loud for my comfort level, so I'm going to have to move to another room. (I have strong auditory aversions.)

26. Quote something you've written. Whatever pops into your head.

"I think I might be able to drive with you on my lap." Reeve--Honor Within It makes me laugh every time I read it.

Priorities--Those are so cool. I wish I had some.

Well, since I'm not shy about talking about my OCD, I'll add now that I can't seem to grasp the concept of priorities. It's the obsessive part of OCD. Well, technically, I have a lot of priorities--I'm over-run with them--they just suck. So, I'm shuffling priorities around right now. I don't think I even feel like querying Honor this month. I feel like finishing Honor Six and getting it out to her fans for a "Christmas Present" for them. It's been a while since I finished an Honor book. I also intend to get Scorched to a few of my "hard copy only" betas.

I also promised to go back and help with the Nativity thing. I'm such a sucker when it comes to helping friends. Unfortunately, there is a lot of dust in the air from the nativities, and it's aggravating my asthma in a wicked, wicked way. It's making me sleepy not being able to breathe--so then I take asthma stuff which gives me insomnia. Bah! I was up late last night--really, really, really late. So, today, I'm only staying for three hours, and then they're cut off. I can't do more than that. I'm so tired.

Then, we get to cleaning, laundry, and the rest of that. Blech. Low priority. Very, very low priority. Hate it!

So, lack of sleep and frustration are really swamping my system today. I feel blah. I'm going to work on Honor Six for a while and then I'll shower and reapproach this thing we call life.

Day Twenty-nine- How do you know when it's ready?

Whenever I finish a manuscript, I get so excited about it. It's like a new baby. It smells nice. It's not so much work yet. I'm all "rah rah" over it. Then, I send it out to betas, and I'm still excited. Then, I do the first rewrites after getting feedback--and I'm still sort of excited. Then, I send it out to different betas--and it's a little older, a little more complicated, and the buzz is gone. They send me back more comments, and it's less exciting. Plus, I've got a new baby or maybe several babies--because I'm psychotic. Eventually, I start looking back at this old manuscript--and reread it, and it's sort of exciting again--and maybe I do another rewrite. I can see the charm in it, and I think it's good, but it still feels cruel to query it, and I feel like it's too soon to let it leave the house. After all, it's still my baby--even if it's just mooching up time and drinking all the milk and sitting around the couch scratching its hairy pits.

So, Scorched is all sweet and cute right now. It's had all my attention, and it just seems adorable. It still has revision after revision after revision to go through. It might be a while before it's time to send out into the world and have people kick the crap out of it. Still, it just always feels too soon.

I know it's partly my OCD that is telling me it's not perfect... and I like the idea of perfect. I think Honor has gone through this about four or five times now--the revision process--possibly even more. Actually, definitely more. I finished Honor Among Thieves in April of this year, I think. I sent it to DAW in August. I sent it to the first agents in September. I still like Honor, but it's definitely not as fun to deal with as Scorched is right now.

For those of you that are doing NaNoWriMo--how many months of revision and so on are you anticipating before you might query it? How many revisions does it go through before you send it to betas? Anything else you always do before you even think about letting a manuscript fend for itself?

Day Twenty-eight- Getting all blurbular

So, now that it's done, I rewrote my back-cover blurb for Scorched:

Sidra is obsessed and teased by the thought of fire. It consumes her every waking thought and is the focus of all her art. Nothing matters as much as capturing the light and depth of reds, oranges, blues, purples, and the occasional common yellow.

Well, that's not true anymore.

There is something decidedly strange about the hot new guy in school, Asher. He doesn't seem to care about popularity or grades. Associating with her certainly guarantees his social life will go up in flames. Plus, he asks a whole lot of questions about why she is called "Scorch." When mysterious fires get closer, Sidra knows it's only a matter of time before they start asking "Scorch" questions. People are already staring--well, it's mostly just them--those guys that all look alike.

Hopefully, no one finds the paintings of the fires that she painted before they happened. She didn't set these fires, though. Really. She's too busy fighting ghosts that like to chew on her underwear and deal with her father's past sins that haunt her. He pretty much smoked their little family. She doesn't have time to set fires.

Asher, though--he's been at all the fires, and he casts a strangely dark shadow. What about that dog? The dog that sometimes is with him. It's huge and dark but disappears like a fire jarred.

As things start to make sense--someone else steps into the heated circle. The guy she's been dreaming about is real--like really real--and he might like fire a little more than Scorch. He certainly knows about heat.

Asher. Demons. Dogs. Fire. Maybe it's time to sit back and chill.

Scorch can't, though. What--are you kidding? She just loves to play with fire. She might get burnt, but with Asher around--she'll probably get scorched.

On a completely different subject, I want to work on querying Honor Among Thieves. I'm looking for two or three betas to read the first three chapters. Let me give you the low-down on it. Actually, I'll just give you the back blurb on this too.

Honor is accustomed to meeting monsters, so it should come as no surprise to her that the man she met in the bookstore is more than he appears. Speaking of monsters, the killer that has been dogging her steps for years has hunted her down. Honor may be a thief, but she had no intention of stealing the lives of those around her just for her own protection. Even if all these vampires are twice her size, can they really keep up with her?

The Tiger is coming for its prey, and Honor may have to be a team player if she wants to live. Sure this new guy can growl, but how's his bite? Wait... she knows that already.

As her past and present collide...

Who is fiction?

Who is real?

Who is just a monster anxious for her blood?

So, I'm looking for betas that WILL enjoy the premise of an adult vampire urban fantasy with a twist. I've had dozens of people that have enjoyed this book, so I'm looking for someone to make sure my hook is right and early enough and Honor's voice is clear. So, if you didn't enjoy Twilight... consider this outside your realm of interesting--even though it's a book for adults. I'm really overly protective about this book--so I'm also not looking for strangers. In fact, I might have Di help me eeny-meeny-minie-mo based on who would be the most helpful.

Wow. I'm quite the picky person to be asking for help. Please help...NO..NOT YOU...Anyone but you!!! Not you either!!!

Yeah. I'm a freak, but you all knew that.

Day Twenty-seven- This hairshirt I wear....

So, in addition to watching Star Trek last night at the husband's insistence, I did the revise on Scorched--the first of many revisions, of course. This was my last revise before it went to both my sisters. Typically, after they get back to me, I fix typos and print three copies on Lulu to give to my beta readers. Then, they circulate for several weeks and make their way back to me with pencil marks, folded over pages, and sticky covers. Usually, they go through about eight readers--the exception being the Honor books which have each been read by probably two dozen readers. I need to put my "Company of Him" books through the process again, so I can start printing those out to hand around.

The strange thing is--you'd think it'd get easier, and maybe it has. Still, there is always that moment when I'm sending someone a manuscript or giving someone a book where it feels like I'm giving them something so personal that I feel like it's peeking into my brain. It feels like I'm giving away my secrets one at a time.

I don't think non-writers get it.

Even as fast as I write--I've still spent hour upon hour thinking about my characters--wondering what they'd do. I still research everything to death. While I'm driving, I'm thinking "you know, it would be amazing if...." While I'm trying to sleep, I'm thinking of conversation between characters. Then, there is that first moment--when it begins--and something wanders into your mind asking "what if?" At the end, when it's over, there is that elation of it's done--they're done with their trip in my head. You know how it ends--you can return to life. You can breathe again. Each little character walks out of your head with some bit of them that is personal to you. Maybe you see a little of yourself in their self-conscious thoughts. Maybe you spent a long time agonizing over what they'd do in a situation. Maybe you secretly hated them--or loved them.

There is a deep intimacy between a writer and what they write.

Each time I hand off something, I worry that it's too obvious how I feel about something. There is that self-conscious instant like stepping out of a dressing room in an outfit that you grabbed on a whim as you walked by. (Only--it wasn't a whim--and you'd been staring at it the whole time. Still, if you act like it doesn't matter--if you pretend that you won't be hurt no matter what--you can be brave enough to step out of the curtain and hope that if they hate it--they won't realize how much it meant to you.)

You'd think it would feel a little less intimate after so many books, but it still feels like I'm standing there in a shirt that looks like Van Gogh hurled on it and bright orange jeans and thinking "this is sort of the real me" while saying "I just grabbed this on my way into the dressing room. It's crazy, right? It makes my hips look huge. The shirt is a little out there."

For the most part, I don't expect brutal honesty. Seriously, does anyone want brutal honesty even if they act like they do? Even if someone says, I want to improve this--tell me what you really think. The translation is: I've worked on this. I've invested in this. It must be good in some way. Help me find a way to make it work. No one wants to hear: "Put that in a drawer somewhere. No, better yet, douse it in gasoline and burn it."

It's harder to send it out to agents and publishers, of course. It stings a little more when they look at your Van Gogh shirt and say, "Whoa! I can't believe that even made it onto the racks. Who'd ever wear that? No one is going to buy that. I'd never wear that."

It doesn't matter, though, right? It can't matter.

It's business--just business.

I hate that. I hate that we're told to think of something we've written like that. If it was just business, your writing would be crap. If you didn't put yourself in it, then there would be no point to showing it to anyone.

I don't care if it's tacky to say this, but it's never business with me. Never. Not in my blog posts. Not in my flash fiction. Not in my manuscripts. It just isn't. It's a bit of me, standing outside the curtain--fully intending to buy the shirt and the jeans--even if I just hide them away in my closet, proud that I had the guts to step outside the curtain.

Day Twenty-six--When you give thanks and have pie.

This morning, I woke up feeling like a new person. (LIKE a new person--not feeling a new person---just in case anyone read that and wondered if I was tramping out on my husband.)

The NaNo novel is done, and I'M excited to do rewrites. Yay!!! There will be some hacking and slashing. There will be a bit of adding and embellishing... but most of all, today, there will be pie. The sister aka Heidi has promised me glorious banana cream pie. Yummmmm.

Today, I'm thankful for the husband's job and my two wonderful kids who can also be slightly annoying. I'm thankful for the husband and all he does to help our little family stay afloat. We'll have been married twelve years next month and I'm thankful for the good and bad years and that we've grown together. I can't even begin to tell you all the wonderful little things he does every day just because he is the person that he is.

I'm thankful for one car that magically decided to turn off its "check engine" light after three years. I'm not sure why it was on. I'm not sure why it's off--I just know when to be thankful for the little things.

I'm thankful for a wonderful friend in real life who makes me laugh about crappy things. I'm thankful for cyber friends who are so genuine. I'm thankful for my family and how close we all are.

I'm thankful for a belief in God and religion and the knowledge that belief doesn't make me a sheep--but a person that has made a choice to believe in something greater than human frailty and a finite existence and I'm right--and I know I'm right. Truth is stronger than fiction--even if it sometimes also seems stranger than fiction. I know that I'm raising my children in a way that I can respect and accept. I'm grateful to live in a place with the freedom to make these choices, and I'm grateful that my parents raised me to respect the choices of others.

Even with all the stress that comes with it, I'm thankful for the rush and thrill I get from being a writer. I like the feeling I get when I reread something I've written and it feels alive and real and I think, "I did that. I brought that to life. I made that." I like telling the stories in my head and having the characters get their time in the light. I'm grateful for the weird quirky characters that make me smile like Honor... and Reeve, and the Master, and Beth/Juliet, and Devi, and Jake... and Asher... and Scorch. I'm honestly grateful that my memory is so wickedly horrible that I laugh at jokes every single time. I woke up this morning with a few thoughts on things to add to Scorched in the final two chapters--and I'm grateful for that too. These stories feel like living, breathing things to me and it feels nice to be a part of that.

I'm grateful for the moral upbringing I had which has instilled in me the desire to write stories that I can share with my kids someday. I'm grateful that there are other people out there still willing to write stories that I don't feel ashamed to read and recommend and quote from and talk about.

A special thank you to Shelley for writing a children's book that made me smile and call my mom right away.

Another thank you to Diana for writing Sinister which started my day out right today.

I'm grateful... very grateful to be alive today and surrounded by people that I love and who love me. I'm grateful for a laptop to take with me today so I can be surrounded by the characters I've created and sneak in a little editing. (Shhhhh... Everyone will fall asleep after turkey anyway.)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Day Twenty-four and a bit--and finished.

That's right! Woo woo! At 80, 407 words, it's finished. Scorched is done--other than a massive rewrite, because I decided my new villain needed a more central role--and redemption. Sweet! A redeemed villain.

Plus, I changed about three people's names today alone. Holy cow! Everyone got a new name today. I even swapped a shadowhound's name with a demon. So there. Neeners.

Still, it's done. This calls for Frosting and maybe some sugary liquid of some kind. I could go for some ginger ale.