Where Ladybugs Roar

Confessions and Passions of a Compulsive Writer

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I'm dreaming of a white... room with padded walls.

I'm so tired. I was barely home at all yesterday, and I spent an hour and a half stuck in the car with just the kids due to traffic. (My kids enjoy being repetitive. They enjoy being repetitive. They repeat things. See how annoying it is?) Then, I didn't sleep well last night because I skipped my arthritis meds. When I gave up early this morning and took them, it conked me out for hours--making the kids late to school.

I have so much to do but I really desperately need silence--like complete and total silence. I'm dying from too much sensory input and stress over the car.

Maybe doing the Christmas cards this morning (after Yoga) will be quiet enough. It's really not quite the writing experience I was hoping for.

BTW, I've so thoroughly embraced technology that my hand will cramp about one Christmas card in, and I'll think "WHY? WHY? Why do people still like handwritten notes? It's a cold cruel world filled with handwritten notes and glitter... I hate glitter. It gets everywhere." Glitter is just slightly below spit and snot on my empirical list of hated things. Do you know what else is on there? Wasps. No, that was totally random, but I like to think you're learning about me one random thing at a time.

Okay, it's go time--for yoga. Maybe I'll squeak out some writing time when I get back. Will I work on Honor Seven--or this new idea that is plaguing me? Hmm. It remains to be seen.


  1. "Stay On Target! Stay On Target!" Some of us need Honor 7 desperately!

  2. Hey! I hate wasps, too!

    I have to confess-- I like glitter, though. Not so much glitter management as I just really, really like sparkly things.

  3. L.T.--LOL. You're a "Ohh Something shiny!" kind of person, huh? Glitter management is what gets to me. It's just impossible for it not to stick everywhere it's not meant to.

    Jaime--But, Jaime, I don't want to stay on target!! I want to wander all over and accrue twenty WIPs again. That was so much fun last time.

    Actually, I guess I'm technically a something shiny person too.

    Ohhh... I just had the husband look online for obituaries because I hadn't seen our neighbor for a while, and they've been cleaning out the garage and house a lot. He passed away last week. Wow. We can be such lousy neighbors. That's so sad. I should figure out some way to get his widow something. Wow. We're so horrible. Sigh. I'll have to think of something. (Honestly, we'd spoken three or four times in the three years we've lived here.)

  4. Wendy, you have to buy ear plugs. I have a set in my car, in my purse, next to my bed, in the living room, bathroom. It's like my little piece of sanity. Depending on what type you get, I get the medium type. WHere after they are in I can slightly hear the kids in case they, actually need something. But I do have the heavy duty kind for those crazy days.

    I would never wish to be deaf BUT, I would love the super power to turn my hearing on and off.

  5. Oh wow, the neighbor thing shouldn't have made chuckle. I'm the same way though.

    I wish everyone could just call "even" on Christmas cards. I know they're fun to get, but I'm okay without them, really. A heartfelt email works better for me anyway. Then I don't have to wonder whether I should save the card, and feel bad for eventually throwing it away.

    My five year old is the repetitive one. He's also captain obvious. All I hear is, "Yippity yippity yippity, right mom? Right? Right!" Until I answer, "Yeah hun," to his "The sky is blue" or "Cars are faster than horses" or whatever. I need Gwoe's earplugs.

  6. I too confess--I like glitter. But I hope you found some quiet time outside of Christmas cards. Yoga always helps me. :)


  7. Christmas cards are a pain. I have no place to put them, and I inevitably get more than I send, so I have fill out more cards, run to the post office, and repeat the whole annoying tradition again. GAH!

  8. You are a way better person then me. I don't think I've given Christmas cards in about 5 years.

    I haven't done my Christmas shopping yet. I'm thinking Friday will be a fun day to do it. Won't be busy at all.

    Good luck with the padded cell...I mean silence.

  9. I'm thinking a padded cell sounds pretty good...

  10. The room isn't padded, but it might work.


    Of course you'd have to come to the city to go there, thus negating all stress relieving benefits.

  11. I am so tired of all my friends sending me these professionally made (well, okay -- internet ordered) photo Christmas cards of them and there husbands and their babies.

    I swear to never be one of those women.

    I'm not really the handwritten card type either, though. I don't feel the need to partake in the sending of the xmas cards until I have children. Then, maybe. A big maybe.

  12. I stopped by the neighbor's place and offered my condolences and nearly started crying all over her. She'd been hoping her husband would last until the end of the year. Today is her birthday--apparently her mother passed away around this same time last year too.

    Anyway, she was a little surprised I knew about it because they hadn't told anyone. When I told her why--it sounded odd to me. I'd just had this feeling of sadness as I'd watched them taking something out of the house. It was hard to say what it was. I'm just weirdly perceptive at times.

    So, I offered help, but she said they were fine. Her son is staying with her through the holidays.

    It's really hard for me to approach strangers actually--which is sad that they were seriously strangers to me. They were older, though, and their kids were my age and rarely around. They kept to themselves too. So, it was really stressful for me to walk next door and talk to them. Since I had to talk to the neighbors on the other side about the dog on Saturday, I'm feeling all "confrontationed" out. Both conversations felt emotional and awkward. This whole agoraphobia thing doesn't play well with others.

    My idea of Christmas cards has been in a downward spiral. When the kids were little--I was all about fancy. Now, I've got storebought cards that I'll be putting pictures inside and signing my name. I'm sending out basically only to family and a very few friends. The goal is to not need to go out for more stamps. If you don't send a card to me--than I'm considering myself off the hook. Woo woo!

    My kids are still in full-volume mode. T is absolutely out of his mind wired--like REALLY wired. I picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue.

  13. How sad. You have a very good heart.