Scary Decisions and Diving in

And you thought you'd never get a picture of me. There it is. Okay, it's a painting, and it's from a while ago, but it's me. It's done from a picture the husband took about ten years ago of me sitting in a lighthouse window. It was my second painting--ever. It's even on canvas board instead of actual canvas. Still, it's hanging in my house right now.

I was going to post a different painting, but this one scrolled to the top first and fit better anyway.

So, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm a shiny thing kind of writer. I get easily distracted by new and shiny ideas. I run at them all smiles and hugs and love. That's not to say that I forget my old loves. I'm in constant rewrite mode. Whenever I get stuck on something new, I go back to an old manuscript and rewrite it. I just went through most of the Honor series looking for plot inconsistencies.

(BTW, if you're going to write a series of books without a real plan, writing the entire series before getting published is the way to go in my opinion. Then, you can go back to the first and second and third and fix things that don't work later on. I've got to go through and change the ages of a few vampires in rewrites fairly soon.)

So, the point--I'm sort of a shiny thing kind of blogger too, after all, and I'm easily side-tracked, but I do have a point, or a quandary really.

I'm trying to decide whether to go back to DAW and try updated Honor Among Thieves, or to continue plugging away at finding an agent. Honor hasn't met many agents actually.

Then, I have both Scorched and Re: Straint that I'm wondering if I should work on those for submission into the Amazon Breakthrough Novel contest.

I just don't know where my strengths are--and as fun as getting rejected is... I'd rather send in the right thing and work on the right manuscript.

Then, there is this other thing--which I thought of in the middle of the night--when I had insomnia last night, and I should have just gotten up written instead.

I'm thinking of making "Sheri's Tales" free for download on Lulu. Honestly, while I'd like to write for a living and earn money at it, I write because the stories are there in my head and I won't be able to sleep if they don't get out. This whole process starts eating at your soul eventually if you're not thick-skinned. (I've been trying to wear around this new thick skin, but it's heavy and I swear it makes my butt look big.) Anyway, this "book" is a stand-alone completely. It needs a rewrite or two first, but that way... anyone curious... and my friends could read it and see what my writing style is like. I'd thought of doing the same thing on the web, somehow, but it's just an easier format to go through Lulu.

Anyway, that's my stream of consciousness mind dump for today. I need to find a thing to concentrate on and quit getting completely distracted by new, shiny manuscripts.

1. Honor among Thieves--do a final rewrite, print out, and resend to DAW or not? Send to a few agents--or not?

2. Scorched and Re: Straint--do rewrites and work on preparing for submission to Amazon's thing--or not? Submit to agents who prefer YA--or not?

3. Sheri's Tales--consider all the ramifications of making a single manuscript available free for download to the public.

I'm a little stressed out by my real life today, actually, too. That was the secondary reason for my insomnia. Poor little B is getting bullied. She's in third grade and one of the other girls has targeted her for torment. I've been warning the school for years that this is a concern. Autistic girls are easy targets and B behaves "differently" enough AND doesn't recognize bullying or meanness. She also doesn't relay things unless you ask about them. Knowing which questions to ask--is a complicated thing. This other girl, Laurel, has been punching B in the stomach, stealing her stuff and refusing to return them without a monetary payment, and yesterday she poked her in the eye with a rock. I think she also tried to frame B for a money theft and then later stole B's allowance. Yeah. This all came out last night. The husband and I have talked about taking B out of school for Junior High and home-schooling her because girls are mean to one another, but it turns out that girls are mean a lot sooner than you'd ever guess. I need to call the school and deal with this. Since B has SN and a diagnosis, I have the clout to insist that something be done immediately. Crap... I want this Laurel chick in a different class ASAP.

My best friend's little boy is in the same class as B, and I'll ask him to look out for B again. (He did this in Kindergarten.) Even if he's a turkey at times--he is also fiercely protective.

Dang it. The world is cruel.

Anyway, my stomach still feels skittery today. I'm hoping that boring oatmeal will help.

Okay, wish me luck, I'm off to call the school.