Where Ladybugs Roar

Confessions and Passions of a Compulsive Writer

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Brain... exploding... must... find... pie.

I hate this process of querying. It's basically the emotional equivalent to standing outside naked and just waiting for someone to come shove straw underneath your fingernails.

There must be pie for there to be sanity.

I was staring at a synopsis for too long. My brain aches. A book synopsis makes my eyes bleed. It's like watching your child get vampired... all of their juicy goodness is drained down to a Dick and Jane book. It's hard for me to tell the entire story in just a few pages without making it sound like I'm being patronizing. Hopefully, agents are used to that... adjective-free, psuedo writing. "See Honor go to the store. Honor kills monsters. Monsters want to eat Honor. Honor is unhappy." It's mind-numbing... like writing out a lobotomy. The back-cover pitch is fun. Synopsis... ugh.

Hopefully, the quality of my writing is not ever judged on a plot synopsis.

Pie... Must... eat... pie.


  1. Pie is the answer to everything! Pumpkin, pecan, apple, lemon-merengue... I find it hard to dislike pie, even if I dislike the separate ingredients in regular food.

    Synopsis. How do I spin something so utterly vile?? Is there an anagram for synopsis that really captures its essence? I read somewhere that the truth of everything is hidden in anagrams. How about this: piss on syn HAHAHAHAHA!!

    I will find a way to be annoyingly cheerful about synopses (see? it even pluralizes evilly) and blog about it someday.

  2. key-lime... you forgot to mention key-lime.... Mmmm.

    I was waiting for my "proofreading" copies to come fed-ex so I missed my window for "pie." It's okay, though, because my friend called last night to tell me that she'd made some sort of cross between chocolate cake and cheesecake. (It's a layered cake topped with frosting.) It's a mutant hybrid that I'm nearly giddy about. So, I'm glad today that I saved my calorie intake for what sounds like 2,000 calories a slice.

    Piss on syn... I snort laughed. I think you might just be my long lost twin, Diana. Do you also giggle immaturely at the word seaman? (There is a hymn at our church that contains that word, and the husband just rolls his eyes every time I sit and struggle not to laugh. At church! For shame, Wendy... for shame. Yet... seaman. LOL snort LOL.

    I love that you also giggle immaturely at seaman, and my ex-sailor husband had to endure this for the four years of his enlistment! Now my husband is wondering what I'm sitting here snickering about.

    By the way, my score was 21, but I'm not dwelling on that or worrying about what it means at the moment. Most likely it doesn't mean anything except that I have to stop turning things past the number six (or stopping beforehand). I tried to let that happen with my steps, just to see if I could. I really think I ought to be able to but I guess since it doesn't really hurt anybody what difference does it make?
    And now I'm rambling, what else is new?

    Key lime pie is delirious paradise. And I'm jealous of your chocolate cake cheesecake, yummmm :)