Where Ladybugs Roar

Confessions and Passions of a Compulsive Writer

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Oh... and the picture....

For those that don't know me, I dabble in everything. I have a split personality when it comes to my interests.

When B was diagnosed with Autism, six years ago... our world crashed and shattered. She'd lost all her language and we weren't sure if she was going to find it again. Everything seemed hopeless and awful. We did so much therapy both at home and at therapists that I thought I'd completely lose my mind... and possibly... even more serious... my sense of humor. One day, we were playing with puppets and I was making animal noises to correspond with the puppets. When I held up this ladybug puppet, I realized that I'd hit a speed bump. Ladybugs aren't exactly known for their noises. To my surprise, B growled on behalf of the ladybug. I burst into tears both because she was always so quiet but also because that was our dream... that our daughter would do the impossible and overcome this stereotype we had in our mind of an Autistic child. Shortly after that, I painted this painting.

That was six years ago and both my children have progressed with therapy and hard work to the point where they are mostly indistinguishable from their peers. I believe in the improbable, unlikely, and impossible.

I've used this image on business cards for several years as I did some painting on the side for a while to help deal with stress. It's at the heart of how I am when it comes to creativity. I wake up each morning and think "yeah... but what if...." Unfortunately, I can't go to sleep due to the same thought stuck in my head.

As I start this process of trying to get published, I still feel swamped with depression on some days... often related to lack of sleep or issues with the kids. Sometimes, it seems impossible that I'll be able to actually make money doing something I love. (The world is not particularly kind when it comes to artists receiving their reward while alive.) I know the statistics say that I'll be able to make more money working for minimum wage than as a writer. Still... we didn't make it to the moon by shooting for the clouds. So, if you're going to crash and burn... probably not a good idiom to follow a space exploration comment.... If you're going to gamble, you should always be willing to go all in... or go home.

Still... once you've seen a ladybug roar, nothing seems impossible.

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